continued dumping

by

think it must just be “end of a long winter” sort of thing but really, keeping it all together at the moment is not easy. I don’t want to clutter up my proper blog with all this crap but it helps if I tip it out of my head. I just don’t feel like we are getting anywhere, I’m permentantly tired, she’s permentantly tired, I know we need to do more stuff, do more learning, get outside, eat properly, I know that would make us both feel better but it’s all too exhausting. I just feel that I’m carrying everyone here, I have a house full of crap that I can’t seem to process, I am, yet again, well behind with the OU stuff, I have a Rainbow meeting I need to get ready before tomorrow evening, I need to sort out clothes for a child who is teetering on the edge of obesity which is all my fault, because who else can you blame for an 8 year old wearing size 12 jeans? and I know if I don’t get a grip I’m setting her up for a shit life but I don’t know where to start. At her age I’d already been put on a diet by the doctor, mum didn’t follow it, she just packed me off to school with diet shakes and bars which didn’t work because I came home to an empty house with a full pantry, but made her feel like she was dealing with it. I wonder if Aprilia would be better in school because then she would have to have a routine, would have to move about more, would ahve to make the effort to read and learn. But I know that really she wouldn’t, even the LEA lady said that school isn’t the right place for her, but is that my fault too? Have I screwed her up to the point she wont’ cope with real life?

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